Actually, it still is a little unpleasant, but at least I'm feeling human again. And things I care about -- the Beck Diet Solution, Christmas cards, basic hygiene -- seem important again. So it's time to get back on those horses!
It's too bad I lost a week on the program, especially because I gained a 1/2 lb. Apparently skipping exercise to lie in bed groaning and treating myself to all kinds of comfort foods don't burn as many calories as I hoped.
Getting back to the exercise is going to be tough. Momentum is what kept me going to the gym day after day, and now a week-long inertia has set in. Plus, I'm still pretty weak, so daily workouts aren't advisable anyway. Getting myself back in the exercise habit without prolonging my convalescence is going to be a fine line to walk, so that's my goal this week.
My overall goal for December still is to maintain my weight, so losing that 1/2 lb. should be a priority. But I don't want to push myself too hard and cause a relapse; I've missed enough parties already! Besides, it's entirely possible that weight is all the snot still stuffing up my head. So instead I'm going to focus on reading my ARC and Response Cards again -- another habit I dropped while I was sick.
As for those comfort foods... With a head full of snot comes that soul-sucking apathy, meaning I just didn't care what I was eating when I was sick. Not in a denial and rationalization way, I honestly just didn't care. I don't think any cognitive therapy program in the world could combat that kind of non-thinking.
So how to overcome it? I guess the only way is to avoid it altogether by staying healthy. It might also help if I didn't turn instinctively to food as a soother. Like my quest for wiser celebrations, how to change this habit is going to take some thought. But following the Beck Diet Solution does provide me with some help, so I'm keeping at it!
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