The Beck Diet Solution has changed my life, giving me the tools to finally lose weight once and for all. But my application of those tools has gotten a little slipshod of late, so it's time to retrain my brain to think like a thin person. So I'm going back to the beginning of the program and starting anew.
The beginning of a new year seems like the natural time to begin a new project, but it's mostly coincidental. I'm not one for resolutions, mostly because when I did have resolutions, they were usually the vague type, like "lose weight", with no idea or plan to get from here to there. The Beck Diet Solution is a solid roadmap for getting from here to there, but still, I'm not going to make a resolution. Instead I'm making a prediction.
I predict I will see the 130s on my scale before the end of 2008. That's how good the Beck Diet Solution is!
Happy New Year.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
WEEK 23: Recap
Well, this was the week that wasn't. The perfect end to the month that wasn't, I guess.
I did follow through on my goal for Thursday: I read my ARC and Response Cards and I reread the first week of this blog. I found rereading the blog immensely helpful because it inspired me all over again.
And then I went to sleep. And slept, and slept, and slept. And when I wasn't sleeping, I was eating. Weirdly, I was eating things that were pretty good for me, just way too much of them. I mean, who binges on oatmeal? And not those over-salted, chemically-flavored packs, just regular old oats, water, and cinnamon. Oatmeal does fill you up, and several bowls of it make you feel like you've got cement filling your guts. Just FYI.
So here I am, feeling overly rested and still bloated, regretting the tailspin this past un-month has put my diet in. I'll be glad to turn the calendar to a new month and a new year, to put all this illness, depression, and weight behind me.
Here's to a new leaf!
I did follow through on my goal for Thursday: I read my ARC and Response Cards and I reread the first week of this blog. I found rereading the blog immensely helpful because it inspired me all over again.
And then I went to sleep. And slept, and slept, and slept. And when I wasn't sleeping, I was eating. Weirdly, I was eating things that were pretty good for me, just way too much of them. I mean, who binges on oatmeal? And not those over-salted, chemically-flavored packs, just regular old oats, water, and cinnamon. Oatmeal does fill you up, and several bowls of it make you feel like you've got cement filling your guts. Just FYI.
So here I am, feeling overly rested and still bloated, regretting the tailspin this past un-month has put my diet in. I'll be glad to turn the calendar to a new month and a new year, to put all this illness, depression, and weight behind me.
Here's to a new leaf!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
WEEK 23: Progress Report
So far, there's no progress to report this week. I enjoyed the holidays without thinking about diet or exercise and now I'm having trouble breaking that habit.
Yesterday's goal to exercise fell by the wayside when I received a dinner invitation for the same time as my gym class. After 21 lonely days on my sickbed, I didn't have the will to say no to a social occasion, so I skipped the class. And afterwards, when I might have gone for a walk, it was too cold! Two-degrees-above-freezing cold! So instead of a walk, I came home and started my hibernation.
Today, I'm not feeling any more motivated. Maybe it's the post-holiday slump? The winter blahs? A post-illness hangover? Whatever it is, I'm just not feeling excited about anything but curling up under a quilt some more. Unfortunately, that's not going to make me any skinnier or healthier.
So today's goal is to find some motivation. I'm going to read my ARC and Response Cards today, and I'm going to reread the first week of this blog. That should light a fire under me, figuratively speaking. (Although a literal fire might do me some good too... Brrr!)
Yesterday's goal to exercise fell by the wayside when I received a dinner invitation for the same time as my gym class. After 21 lonely days on my sickbed, I didn't have the will to say no to a social occasion, so I skipped the class. And afterwards, when I might have gone for a walk, it was too cold! Two-degrees-above-freezing cold! So instead of a walk, I came home and started my hibernation.
Today, I'm not feeling any more motivated. Maybe it's the post-holiday slump? The winter blahs? A post-illness hangover? Whatever it is, I'm just not feeling excited about anything but curling up under a quilt some more. Unfortunately, that's not going to make me any skinnier or healthier.
So today's goal is to find some motivation. I'm going to read my ARC and Response Cards today, and I'm going to reread the first week of this blog. That should light a fire under me, figuratively speaking. (Although a literal fire might do me some good too... Brrr!)
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
WEEK 23-3: Back to Work
Yesterday was certainly merry, if not for my diet. I went a little crazy with the fried eggs and pancakes (although I managed to stop at 2 syrup-dripping cakes instead of my usual 4) and then I ate at least a day's-calories worth of some chocolate-caramel crunchies. Wow, were they delicious and so not anything I needed to binge on.
Now that the holidays are over, it's back to work on the Beck Diet Solution. We're less than a week away from a whole new year and my dream is to start that year in fighting condition. Since I seem to be (relatively) healthy again, that means it's time to go back to the gym. So today's goal is to attend my step aerobics class this evening or to take a walk.
Ready. Set. Go!
Now that the holidays are over, it's back to work on the Beck Diet Solution. We're less than a week away from a whole new year and my dream is to start that year in fighting condition. Since I seem to be (relatively) healthy again, that means it's time to go back to the gym. So today's goal is to attend my step aerobics class this evening or to take a walk.
Ready. Set. Go!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
WEEK 23-2: Merry Christmas!
I had no trouble enjoying myself yesterday, so that's another goal met. I did overdo it a little with the pumpkin fudge, but nothing I can't forgive myself.
So here's another day of trying to enjoy myself; I'll think about Dr. Beck and her solution tomorrow.
Merry Christmas!
So here's another day of trying to enjoy myself; I'll think about Dr. Beck and her solution tomorrow.
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 24, 2007
WEEK 23: An Early Present
Bad news first: I didn't achieve my goal yesterday. Instead of going for a walk and getting some exercise, I slept for about 16 of the 24 hours that comprised yesterday. It was weird -- I just couldn't keep my eyes open, as if I'd been drugged or something. A part of me is dreading that this is the symptom of yet another illness, but how can that be? It's Christmas eve and I've already received my first present.
That's the good news! Even without (hardly) any exercise last week, I lost 2 1/2 lbs.! Merry Christmas indeed! That more than makes up for the gains of the previous weeks, and it puts me on target for reaching my monthly goal of maintaining my weight (actually, it puts me at a loss, but the month ain't over yet...)
I can hardly believe it's true, but there's that old saying about gift horses... So I won't question, I will merely accept and celebrate! Reasonably of course. But it is Christmas eve, a time of enjoyment which I sorely need after being sick all month, so my goal for today is merely to have a good time.
Maybe I'll go weigh myself again -- I sure would enjoy seeing that little number again!
That's the good news! Even without (hardly) any exercise last week, I lost 2 1/2 lbs.! Merry Christmas indeed! That more than makes up for the gains of the previous weeks, and it puts me on target for reaching my monthly goal of maintaining my weight (actually, it puts me at a loss, but the month ain't over yet...)
I can hardly believe it's true, but there's that old saying about gift horses... So I won't question, I will merely accept and celebrate! Reasonably of course. But it is Christmas eve, a time of enjoyment which I sorely need after being sick all month, so my goal for today is merely to have a good time.
Maybe I'll go weigh myself again -- I sure would enjoy seeing that little number again!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
WEEK 22: Recap
For all my big talk yesterday, I sure didn't walk the walk. I could have. I felt up to it, I just didn't feel like doing it. Pure laziness, through and through, which is just what I was afraid of. Once I broke the habit of exercising regularly I put myself in danger of not getting back into the habit. But no more excuses -- I am going to go for a walk today, period, end of sentence.
Exercise has played a major part in my success on the Beck Diet Solution, and I know it. It doesn't make me like exercise any more than I used to, but it does make me more willing to do it, because I want to lose this weight. To lose weight, I have to exercise; restricting my calories just isn't enough.
That said, this week of restricting calories without much exercise does seem to have worked. The scale is giving me some positive feedback, but I refuse to believe that means I don't need to exercise (however tempting that idea may seem right now). My personal theory is that I've finally cleared out most of the snot that's been weighing me down for two weeks, and that's why the scale looks better.
Whatever the reason, I'm grateful and looking forward to tomorrow's weigh-in. And I know I'll enjoy the weigh-in even more after my "last-chance workout" walk today!
Exercise has played a major part in my success on the Beck Diet Solution, and I know it. It doesn't make me like exercise any more than I used to, but it does make me more willing to do it, because I want to lose this weight. To lose weight, I have to exercise; restricting my calories just isn't enough.
That said, this week of restricting calories without much exercise does seem to have worked. The scale is giving me some positive feedback, but I refuse to believe that means I don't need to exercise (however tempting that idea may seem right now). My personal theory is that I've finally cleared out most of the snot that's been weighing me down for two weeks, and that's why the scale looks better.
Whatever the reason, I'm grateful and looking forward to tomorrow's weigh-in. And I know I'll enjoy the weigh-in even more after my "last-chance workout" walk today!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
WEEK 22-6: Walking the Walk
I guess I'm just a party girl at heart, because I couldn't completely avoid that pity party yesterday. I went to a dinner party but I arrived late and not feeling very well, so I just said my hellos and good-byes and went home before eating. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself that I was too sick to have fun, and my food plan was shot since it included the dinner party, so when I got home I had some soup and some chocolate. That's less damage than the big dinner would have been, but giving in to chocolate doesn't seem like a solid move. So I'm not sure whether yesterday's goal was successfully met?
Moving on, I'm feeling much better today (both physically and emotionally) so today's goal is to get some exercise. It's been 5 days since I've had any exercise and 18 days since I've exercised regularly, so I'm long overdue. I finally feel up to it, and with no more pressing activities on my schedule today, I'm ready! It'll be great to get moving again and the emotional boost will be appreciated too.
Moving on, I'm feeling much better today (both physically and emotionally) so today's goal is to get some exercise. It's been 5 days since I've had any exercise and 18 days since I've exercised regularly, so I'm long overdue. I finally feel up to it, and with no more pressing activities on my schedule today, I'm ready! It'll be great to get moving again and the emotional boost will be appreciated too.
Friday, December 21, 2007
WEEK 22-5: My RSVP is No
Yesterday was a slam dunk, to continue that sports metaphor. No pumpkin fudge while I stuck to my food plan! And the scale is showing very positive results...
My stamina continues to be low, so my choice these days is exercise or everyday chores and errands. More specifically, today's choice is exercising naked or doing a whole bunch of laundry. Unfortunately, doing some laundry and getting some exercise (clothed or not) just isn't a possibility.
Because I don't want to complete all of today's activities naked, laundry it is. Exercise will just have to keep waiting for me to feel stronger or have less to do.
So today's goal is sticking to my food plan, which is getting so boring. But it is working, so I shouldn't complain.
Really, really, really I shouldn't complain because I don't need any encouragement to feel sorrier for myself. What with having been sick all month and missing out on lots of holiday festivities and feeling like nobody loves me because who wants to stick around for the coughing and nose-blowing and whining, I've already got the makings of a huge pity party. Which are usually lavishly catered affairs, of course, so no. No party, no pity, just me and my food plan and the dream of one day being healthy and happy and hard(er)-bodied again.
My stamina continues to be low, so my choice these days is exercise or everyday chores and errands. More specifically, today's choice is exercising naked or doing a whole bunch of laundry. Unfortunately, doing some laundry and getting some exercise (clothed or not) just isn't a possibility.
Because I don't want to complete all of today's activities naked, laundry it is. Exercise will just have to keep waiting for me to feel stronger or have less to do.
So today's goal is sticking to my food plan, which is getting so boring. But it is working, so I shouldn't complain.
Really, really, really I shouldn't complain because I don't need any encouragement to feel sorrier for myself. What with having been sick all month and missing out on lots of holiday festivities and feeling like nobody loves me because who wants to stick around for the coughing and nose-blowing and whining, I've already got the makings of a huge pity party. Which are usually lavishly catered affairs, of course, so no. No party, no pity, just me and my food plan and the dream of one day being healthy and happy and hard(er)-bodied again.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
WEEK 22: Progress Report
This one-day-at-a-time plan is working out great. I have a lot less stress and guilt since I'm focusing only on the now, without the distractions of yesterday's mistakes or tomorrow's challenges. These folks clearly know what they're talking about.
I met yesterday's goal of sticking to my food plan, even though some pumpkin fudge was calling my name by the end of the evening. It's been sitting in my fridge for a few days, waiting for me to get together with the friend it's destined for, but it's been hard for us to match schedules, so the fudge is just sitting there. Taunting me.
But I resisted yesterday, and today's goal is to resist again. No pumpkin fudge and stick to my food plan, so it's a two-point goal. Maybe even a three-pointer, given the level of difficulty. But I'm shooting for nothing but net.
I met yesterday's goal of sticking to my food plan, even though some pumpkin fudge was calling my name by the end of the evening. It's been sitting in my fridge for a few days, waiting for me to get together with the friend it's destined for, but it's been hard for us to match schedules, so the fudge is just sitting there. Taunting me.
But I resisted yesterday, and today's goal is to resist again. No pumpkin fudge and stick to my food plan, so it's a two-point goal. Maybe even a three-pointer, given the level of difficulty. But I'm shooting for nothing but net.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
WEEK 22-3: Bah Humbug
Yesterday's goals went so-so. I achieved one and very nearly achieved another.
The good news is I stayed on my food plan, eating everything on it and nothing that wasn't!
The not-quite-bad news is that I made it to the gym, but I didn't stay for class. I was running late and once I arrived I realized I'd forgotten my gym bag. I did have my swimsuit, but I just didn't have the wherewithal to deal with the trouble of no shower shoes, no swim cap, no lock. So I went home and didn't do any make-up exercise; I was feeling too bummed about missing my favorite teacher's last class and being too sick to make myself go. Poor me.
Today's peek at the scale was promising though, so I'm a little cheered up. Until I think about all the last-minute Christmas stuff I absolutely, positively, no more stalling, have to finish today. I am just not feeling the holiday spirit this year.
So an easy goal today: stick to my food plan. I'm predicting it's easy because I'll probably be too busy to think about food, but then again, the day might be so stressful I'll want a pick-me-up... But no choice, right? Right!
The good news is I stayed on my food plan, eating everything on it and nothing that wasn't!
The not-quite-bad news is that I made it to the gym, but I didn't stay for class. I was running late and once I arrived I realized I'd forgotten my gym bag. I did have my swimsuit, but I just didn't have the wherewithal to deal with the trouble of no shower shoes, no swim cap, no lock. So I went home and didn't do any make-up exercise; I was feeling too bummed about missing my favorite teacher's last class and being too sick to make myself go. Poor me.
Today's peek at the scale was promising though, so I'm a little cheered up. Until I think about all the last-minute Christmas stuff I absolutely, positively, no more stalling, have to finish today. I am just not feeling the holiday spirit this year.
So an easy goal today: stick to my food plan. I'm predicting it's easy because I'll probably be too busy to think about food, but then again, the day might be so stressful I'll want a pick-me-up... But no choice, right? Right!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
WEEK 22-2: From the Slopes of Mt. Everest
Yesterday's goal was met! I went for a walk and completed my usual route! It did take me about 10 minutes longer than usual, but I wasn't pushing myself, I was just taking it easy. Nonetheless, I really got a work-out. But my muscles enjoyed it and so did I. I really have missed exercise.
So today's goal is more of the same. I remembered that tonight is the last class taught by my favorite teacher, so my goal is to make it to the gym for that. I'm not sure how much energy I'll be able to give it, but I'm not looking to crest the mountain, just start the climb.
Today has another goal too. Last night, after my walk, I gave in to the munchies and just went crazy with tortilla chips, salsa, crackers, peanut butter, and jam. Not all together, but they still added up. So today I'm going to stick to this food plan:
NO CHOICE.
So today's goal is more of the same. I remembered that tonight is the last class taught by my favorite teacher, so my goal is to make it to the gym for that. I'm not sure how much energy I'll be able to give it, but I'm not looking to crest the mountain, just start the climb.
Today has another goal too. Last night, after my walk, I gave in to the munchies and just went crazy with tortilla chips, salsa, crackers, peanut butter, and jam. Not all together, but they still added up. So today I'm going to stick to this food plan:
NO CHOICE.
Monday, December 17, 2007
WEEK 22: One Day at a Time
My curiosity turned out to be stronger than my dread, so I weighed in today. Not good news: another week of no exercise and lots of comfort food added back a whole pound.
I'm trying very hard not to beat myself up over this gain. There are extenuating circumstances, and the setback doesn't diminish the hard work and progress I've made so far. But I can't say I'm happy about this backward trend.
But the holidays have enough inherent guilt and stress, so I refuse to add any more. To that end, I'm not going to have any weekly goals this time. Instead, I'm going to have smaller, daily goals. That way I can control my weight but without building up unrealistic expectations.
Today's goal is to exercise. I think I'm ready; I'm feeling better physically since the sinus meds are kicking in (finally). A class at the gym sounds too intimidating though, so I'm going to start slow with a long walk.
Also, I'm not going to post my weight-loss chart or ticker this week. It's just too depressing to see that upward line or that bunny hopping backwards. Here's hoping they'll look more encouraging next week.
I'm trying very hard not to beat myself up over this gain. There are extenuating circumstances, and the setback doesn't diminish the hard work and progress I've made so far. But I can't say I'm happy about this backward trend.
But the holidays have enough inherent guilt and stress, so I refuse to add any more. To that end, I'm not going to have any weekly goals this time. Instead, I'm going to have smaller, daily goals. That way I can control my weight but without building up unrealistic expectations.
Today's goal is to exercise. I think I'm ready; I'm feeling better physically since the sinus meds are kicking in (finally). A class at the gym sounds too intimidating though, so I'm going to start slow with a long walk.
Also, I'm not going to post my weight-loss chart or ticker this week. It's just too depressing to see that upward line or that bunny hopping backwards. Here's hoping they'll look more encouraging next week.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
WEEK 21: Recap
Apparently, I've been very, very bad because karma is trying to kill me. I woke up with a hideous sinus headache that turned out be keeping company with a sinus infection. Right now, I'm hoping karma is successful in its quest.
I have been very, very bad. I pretty much ignored my diet all week. I never got any exercise (although I really wasn't in any shape for it), I only read my ARC and Response Cards once (and it showed!), and my eating has been out of control (at least no cookies yet today).
Of course all that adds up to a weight gain; I don't even want to think about weighing in tomorrow. I'm tempted to skip it, write myself a sick note to excuse me from the humiliation. I'm torn, because I'm not sure how much more bad news I can take right now -- between being sick and tired and sick again, I'm just not happy. On the other hand, skipping a weigh-in is a dangerous precedent to set.
It's so hard to make decisions when my head is aching like this.
I have been very, very bad. I pretty much ignored my diet all week. I never got any exercise (although I really wasn't in any shape for it), I only read my ARC and Response Cards once (and it showed!), and my eating has been out of control (at least no cookies yet today).
Of course all that adds up to a weight gain; I don't even want to think about weighing in tomorrow. I'm tempted to skip it, write myself a sick note to excuse me from the humiliation. I'm torn, because I'm not sure how much more bad news I can take right now -- between being sick and tired and sick again, I'm just not happy. On the other hand, skipping a weigh-in is a dangerous precedent to set.
It's so hard to make decisions when my head is aching like this.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
WEEK 21-6: Accentuating the Positive
Not my best day on the Beck Diet Solution, but I'm trying to find the gold among the dross.
Since I was feeling so much better, I was trying to catch up on my holiday festivities today. That mostly meant baking Christmas cookies to give away as gifts. I knew it would be a challenge to surround myself with all that sugary temptation, but my Christmas cookies are a tradition that people start asking about in October. I couldn't disappoint them; I just had to be strong!
For the most part, it went pretty well. I had to sample 3 cookies, but that's much better than I had feared. It helped that I propped my ARC up against the racks of cooling cookies.
However, the cookie-baking took all of my time and energy today, so I didn't make it on a walk. I was resting when friends called to invite me to the movies, and I had to say yes, since I'm getting a little stir-crazy, and I figured I could handle sitting and watching a movie.
Strangely enough, in the middle of the film (which had absolutely nothing to do with bacon), I got the strongest craving for bacon. And instead of remembering my Response Cards (which I haven't read once this week!) I started thinking that my favorite fast food place has a yummy bacon cheeseburger... So on the drive home I detoured past the nearest one. I was wrestling with myself the whole way but the side that wanted to indulge and treat myself (I haven't had fast food in ages!) was winning. But the restaurant was closed! It was a sign. Or something.
So I headed home, where I ate 3 more Christmas cookies. And half a box of crackers.
Yeah, not a lot of positives in there. But I was driven to read my ARC and to apply another tattoo in hopes that giving myself some credit will help me earn some!
Since I was feeling so much better, I was trying to catch up on my holiday festivities today. That mostly meant baking Christmas cookies to give away as gifts. I knew it would be a challenge to surround myself with all that sugary temptation, but my Christmas cookies are a tradition that people start asking about in October. I couldn't disappoint them; I just had to be strong!
For the most part, it went pretty well. I had to sample 3 cookies, but that's much better than I had feared. It helped that I propped my ARC up against the racks of cooling cookies.
However, the cookie-baking took all of my time and energy today, so I didn't make it on a walk. I was resting when friends called to invite me to the movies, and I had to say yes, since I'm getting a little stir-crazy, and I figured I could handle sitting and watching a movie.
Strangely enough, in the middle of the film (which had absolutely nothing to do with bacon), I got the strongest craving for bacon. And instead of remembering my Response Cards (which I haven't read once this week!) I started thinking that my favorite fast food place has a yummy bacon cheeseburger... So on the drive home I detoured past the nearest one. I was wrestling with myself the whole way but the side that wanted to indulge and treat myself (I haven't had fast food in ages!) was winning. But the restaurant was closed! It was a sign. Or something.
So I headed home, where I ate 3 more Christmas cookies. And half a box of crackers.
Yeah, not a lot of positives in there. But I was driven to read my ARC and to apply another tattoo in hopes that giving myself some credit will help me earn some!
Friday, December 14, 2007
WEEK 21-5: My Blue Period
Physically I'm feeling better, but emotionally I'm feeling a little blue. I'm just tired of being sick and it's getting me down.
The good news is I am feeling better physically, much better, so much so that I think I can manage a walk tomorrow. I may not be very fast, and I may need to take a rest stop or two, but I'm going to walk my normal route and see how it goes. At the very least, the endorphins will cheer me up.
I also did better with my eating today. Some friends invited me to dinner and I almost said no because I'm still a little sniffly for public consumption. But then I realized I wouldn't have to summon the energy to make my own dinner (or default to something convenient and fattening), so I went. I had a good time and a healthful meal (which I only ate half of, doing a great job with my restaurant plan!).
So things can only get better, right? Please?
The good news is I am feeling better physically, much better, so much so that I think I can manage a walk tomorrow. I may not be very fast, and I may need to take a rest stop or two, but I'm going to walk my normal route and see how it goes. At the very least, the endorphins will cheer me up.
I also did better with my eating today. Some friends invited me to dinner and I almost said no because I'm still a little sniffly for public consumption. But then I realized I wouldn't have to summon the energy to make my own dinner (or default to something convenient and fattening), so I went. I had a good time and a healthful meal (which I only ate half of, doing a great job with my restaurant plan!).
So things can only get better, right? Please?
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Week 21: Progress Report
No news is not always good news... There's been absolutely no progress on my goals this week, and that's definitely not good news.
I haven't been feeling strong enough to exercise (just grocery shopping was exhausting), and I'm feeling very flabby and fat.
Also, I forgot all about reading my ARC and Response Cards till just now. I must concentrate long enough to remember to read them once I log off the computer!
Finally, I've been making some really lousy food choices. I had a delicious and nutritious dinner planned for tonight, but it was just too much work to make it. So I substituted gorging on sugar instead. No, it wasn't good for my diet or for my tetchy stomach or for my self-esteem. I just feel flabbier and fatter.
I want Santa to bring me a stronger immune system. And a flatter stomach. And a new car. (You know, if you're reading this, Santa...)
I haven't been feeling strong enough to exercise (just grocery shopping was exhausting), and I'm feeling very flabby and fat.
Also, I forgot all about reading my ARC and Response Cards till just now. I must concentrate long enough to remember to read them once I log off the computer!
Finally, I've been making some really lousy food choices. I had a delicious and nutritious dinner planned for tonight, but it was just too much work to make it. So I substituted gorging on sugar instead. No, it wasn't good for my diet or for my tetchy stomach or for my self-esteem. I just feel flabbier and fatter.
I want Santa to bring me a stronger immune system. And a flatter stomach. And a new car. (You know, if you're reading this, Santa...)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
WEEK 21-3: One Calorie Per Minute
It turns out I burn about 1 calorie every minute I'm sleeping. If only it were possible to sleep 25 hours a day, I could lose weight easily!
As it is, sleeping is about the most strenuous activity I can sustain right now. Serious exercise, like a step class, is completely out of the question, and even lighter exercise, like a walk around the block, is just too much right now. I really pushed myself today because I needed to do some grocery shopping, but then I needed a lie-down after that simple exertion.
On the other hand, I'm seriously non-interested in food right now. I'm not sure if it's a symptom of my continued congestion (everything tastes like cardboard to my deadened taste buds) or if it's round 2 of this flu. I've been getting some distressing messages from my stomach about the likelihood of rejecting anything I put into it.
Ah, to be healthy and fighting off cravings with a strenuous work-out!
As it is, sleeping is about the most strenuous activity I can sustain right now. Serious exercise, like a step class, is completely out of the question, and even lighter exercise, like a walk around the block, is just too much right now. I really pushed myself today because I needed to do some grocery shopping, but then I needed a lie-down after that simple exertion.
On the other hand, I'm seriously non-interested in food right now. I'm not sure if it's a symptom of my continued congestion (everything tastes like cardboard to my deadened taste buds) or if it's round 2 of this flu. I've been getting some distressing messages from my stomach about the likelihood of rejecting anything I put into it.
Ah, to be healthy and fighting off cravings with a strenuous work-out!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
WEEK 21: Giddyup
Well, that was unpleasant.
Actually, it still is a little unpleasant, but at least I'm feeling human again. And things I care about -- the Beck Diet Solution, Christmas cards, basic hygiene -- seem important again. So it's time to get back on those horses!
It's too bad I lost a week on the program, especially because I gained a 1/2 lb. Apparently skipping exercise to lie in bed groaning and treating myself to all kinds of comfort foods don't burn as many calories as I hoped.
Getting back to the exercise is going to be tough. Momentum is what kept me going to the gym day after day, and now a week-long inertia has set in. Plus, I'm still pretty weak, so daily workouts aren't advisable anyway. Getting myself back in the exercise habit without prolonging my convalescence is going to be a fine line to walk, so that's my goal this week.
My overall goal for December still is to maintain my weight, so losing that 1/2 lb. should be a priority. But I don't want to push myself too hard and cause a relapse; I've missed enough parties already! Besides, it's entirely possible that weight is all the snot still stuffing up my head. So instead I'm going to focus on reading my ARC and Response Cards again -- another habit I dropped while I was sick.
As for those comfort foods... With a head full of snot comes that soul-sucking apathy, meaning I just didn't care what I was eating when I was sick. Not in a denial and rationalization way, I honestly just didn't care. I don't think any cognitive therapy program in the world could combat that kind of non-thinking.
So how to overcome it? I guess the only way is to avoid it altogether by staying healthy. It might also help if I didn't turn instinctively to food as a soother. Like my quest for wiser celebrations, how to change this habit is going to take some thought. But following the Beck Diet Solution does provide me with some help, so I'm keeping at it!
Actually, it still is a little unpleasant, but at least I'm feeling human again. And things I care about -- the Beck Diet Solution, Christmas cards, basic hygiene -- seem important again. So it's time to get back on those horses!
It's too bad I lost a week on the program, especially because I gained a 1/2 lb. Apparently skipping exercise to lie in bed groaning and treating myself to all kinds of comfort foods don't burn as many calories as I hoped.
Getting back to the exercise is going to be tough. Momentum is what kept me going to the gym day after day, and now a week-long inertia has set in. Plus, I'm still pretty weak, so daily workouts aren't advisable anyway. Getting myself back in the exercise habit without prolonging my convalescence is going to be a fine line to walk, so that's my goal this week.
My overall goal for December still is to maintain my weight, so losing that 1/2 lb. should be a priority. But I don't want to push myself too hard and cause a relapse; I've missed enough parties already! Besides, it's entirely possible that weight is all the snot still stuffing up my head. So instead I'm going to focus on reading my ARC and Response Cards again -- another habit I dropped while I was sick.
As for those comfort foods... With a head full of snot comes that soul-sucking apathy, meaning I just didn't care what I was eating when I was sick. Not in a denial and rationalization way, I honestly just didn't care. I don't think any cognitive therapy program in the world could combat that kind of non-thinking.
So how to overcome it? I guess the only way is to avoid it altogether by staying healthy. It might also help if I didn't turn instinctively to food as a soother. Like my quest for wiser celebrations, how to change this habit is going to take some thought. But following the Beck Diet Solution does provide me with some help, so I'm keeping at it!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
WEEK 20-3: How Much Does Snot Weigh?
I'm sick.
My joints were achy and I had a scratchy throat and sinus headache yesterday but I tried to convince myself it was just the changes in weather. After spending twenty minutes this morning emptying out my sinuses, I realized it's the flu.
It seems pretty mild so far, but my weight-loss efforts are suffering anyway. When it came to my exercise class this morning, the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak; I just couldn't lift myself out of bed. I'm predicting the same result for tonight's class.
And forget about dieting -- it's not just my resistance to germs that's low... I pretty much poisoned myself on chocolate cake. Nausea would be a welcome relief at this point.
Ugh.
My joints were achy and I had a scratchy throat and sinus headache yesterday but I tried to convince myself it was just the changes in weather. After spending twenty minutes this morning emptying out my sinuses, I realized it's the flu.
It seems pretty mild so far, but my weight-loss efforts are suffering anyway. When it came to my exercise class this morning, the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak; I just couldn't lift myself out of bed. I'm predicting the same result for tonight's class.
And forget about dieting -- it's not just my resistance to germs that's low... I pretty much poisoned myself on chocolate cake. Nausea would be a welcome relief at this point.
Ugh.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
WEEK 20-2: Celebrations: Not Just for Candy Anymore
Yesterday was a rocky start to controlling my eating this week: I was so excited about my loss that I "celebrated" with a slice of birthday cake for breakfast. Then I was too full of chocolate and remorse to think about food for most of the day. I finally had some dinner, and then later I got hungry... Yep, I had another slice of cake. Such an idiot!
But the disaster did get me thinking that I need to figure out satisfying ways to celebrate accomplishments and good news and fun times. I.e., in ways that don't involve hundreds of calories but still feel like I'm treating myself and having a good time.
So far my list of celebrations that don't involve food is pretty lame:
But the disaster did get me thinking that I need to figure out satisfying ways to celebrate accomplishments and good news and fun times. I.e., in ways that don't involve hundreds of calories but still feel like I'm treating myself and having a good time.
So far my list of celebrations that don't involve food is pretty lame:
- dance around the house to my favorite CDs
- get a massage
- buy a new outfit
Clearly this is going to take some more thought. Or maybe I should just tattoo this Response Card to my forehead and be done with it!
Meanwhile, today has gone very well. I wrote out my food plan and followed it with no problem. To make sure I wouldn't be tempted by visions of chocolate cake dancing in my head, I had chocolate pudding instead (OK, the chemicals may kill me, but I'll leave a skinny corpse!) and that was just the trick.
And, wonder of wonders, I made it to my gym class tonight! Really, it was a wonder because I had a bunch of errands to run before class. And those errands should have involved traffic jams, lack of parking, long lines, hassles over a returned item, more long lines, more parking challenges, and twice the time I'd estimated for them. Instead? There were open roads, there was parking, there were short lines, there was no hassle, there was more parking, and everything took less time than I'd estimated.
Still I was cutting it close to the wire when I pulled into a parking space at the gym. And that's when I realized I'd left my membership card and my driver's license at home... So I trudged into the gym prepared to bribe them to let me in but sure that I would probably have to go home defeated, but then? They let me in without a problem. I wasn't even late for class!
With so much luck on my side, I thought I should buy a lottery ticket (but, um, I forgot). Still, such good fortune deserves a celebration. High-five myself? (Uh-uh.) Sing a chorus of "For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow"? (Not even.) Enjoy a Celebration? (Trick question!)
But I'd better come up with some viable options, stat!
Monday, December 3, 2007
WEEK 20: The Holiday Spirit
My favorite birthday present this year has to be the one I gave myself: I lost 2 lbs. while celebrating!
WOW!
I had a good feeling about my diet and exercise last week, but no way was I expecting such a big loss. Now I'm feeling much better about my chances at getting through Christmas without gaining weight...
That is my focus for the rest of the month: not gaining any weight. Ideally of course I'd like to lose weight -- I'm only 2 lbs. away from the minus-30 lbs. mark, and it would be super to start off 2008 in the 150s... But I'm not asking for a Christmas miracle; if I can maintain 165.5 for the next 4 weeks, that will be wonderful.
This week's challenges both fall on Sunday (the day before next week's weigh-in, of course). I'm attending a tea party and a Christmas party, both of which will focus on stuffing yummy morsels into one's mouth. What to do, what to do?
First, I'm going to control my eating throughout the week by writing out my food plans and focusing on extra-healthy meals.
Second, I'm going to exercise 8 times this week. Again, that means finding time to exercise this weekend and I believe I can do it.
Third, I'm going to read my ARC and Response Cards every day, and twice on Sunday. I'm going to read them right before the tea party and again right before the Christmas party. And I'm not going to let anything stop me: if I'm running late, oh well. If I'm eager to start partying, too bad. If my friends are being a bad influence, I will lock myself in the bathroom and read my Cards sitting on the edge of the tub! I am determined not to be undone by platters of petits fours or hunks of plum pudding. And my Cards will help.
Then, once I'm in the proper holiday spirit, let's get that party started!
WOW!
I had a good feeling about my diet and exercise last week, but no way was I expecting such a big loss. Now I'm feeling much better about my chances at getting through Christmas without gaining weight...
That is my focus for the rest of the month: not gaining any weight. Ideally of course I'd like to lose weight -- I'm only 2 lbs. away from the minus-30 lbs. mark, and it would be super to start off 2008 in the 150s... But I'm not asking for a Christmas miracle; if I can maintain 165.5 for the next 4 weeks, that will be wonderful.
This week's challenges both fall on Sunday (the day before next week's weigh-in, of course). I'm attending a tea party and a Christmas party, both of which will focus on stuffing yummy morsels into one's mouth. What to do, what to do?
First, I'm going to control my eating throughout the week by writing out my food plans and focusing on extra-healthy meals.
Second, I'm going to exercise 8 times this week. Again, that means finding time to exercise this weekend and I believe I can do it.
Third, I'm going to read my ARC and Response Cards every day, and twice on Sunday. I'm going to read them right before the tea party and again right before the Christmas party. And I'm not going to let anything stop me: if I'm running late, oh well. If I'm eager to start partying, too bad. If my friends are being a bad influence, I will lock myself in the bathroom and read my Cards sitting on the edge of the tub! I am determined not to be undone by platters of petits fours or hunks of plum pudding. And my Cards will help.
Then, once I'm in the proper holiday spirit, let's get that party started!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
WEEK 19: Recap
Wow, after a month of blogging every day, I kind of missed not posting anything yesterday. Maybe I need to rethink posting every day in December. It would be so helpful for my diet -- maybe my goal can be posting almost every day?
But now for my regularly-scheduled program: I did very well with my goals this week. Not perfect, but I think they'll have the desired effect (i.e., losing weight while celebrating my birthday).
My eating was amazing, considering I had 3 birthday dinners in one week. Last night's final hurrah was at a Chinese restaurant, which posed a challenge. Everything was served family-style, so it was hard to figure out what "half" of my entree would be. But I managed; I had a little of this and a little of that and didn't even reach full. Which is just as well because my friends surprised me with a gi-normous chocolate cake for dessert! Oh, it was so sinful! Oh!
A slice of that cake met one of my sub-goals: to eat no more than 2 slices of birthday cake this week. And the cocktail I had at dinner the other night means I met another sub-goal: no more than 1 cocktail this week. Eating no more than half my restaurant entrees was a little trickier, so I know I'll need to focus more on my new Response Card on celebrating. I also skipped reading my ARC and Response Cards one day, and I just never managed to read them immediately before this week's parties and dinners, but all the times I did read them definitely helped keep my eating under control this week, so I'm feeling pretty good about this goal.
I'm feeling marvelous about my second goal: exercise at least 8 times. Not only did I meet this goal, I exceeded it! I worried I wouldn't be able to fit in any exercise over the weekend, but I managed a session on the rowing machine on Saturday and then a long walk on Sunday! Simply amazing; I'm so proud of myself.
So I'm going into tomorrow's weigh-in with a good feeling. Or maybe that's the chocolate-cake-induced endorphins, but whatever, I'm liking it.
But now for my regularly-scheduled program: I did very well with my goals this week. Not perfect, but I think they'll have the desired effect (i.e., losing weight while celebrating my birthday).
My eating was amazing, considering I had 3 birthday dinners in one week. Last night's final hurrah was at a Chinese restaurant, which posed a challenge. Everything was served family-style, so it was hard to figure out what "half" of my entree would be. But I managed; I had a little of this and a little of that and didn't even reach full. Which is just as well because my friends surprised me with a gi-normous chocolate cake for dessert! Oh, it was so sinful! Oh!
A slice of that cake met one of my sub-goals: to eat no more than 2 slices of birthday cake this week. And the cocktail I had at dinner the other night means I met another sub-goal: no more than 1 cocktail this week. Eating no more than half my restaurant entrees was a little trickier, so I know I'll need to focus more on my new Response Card on celebrating. I also skipped reading my ARC and Response Cards one day, and I just never managed to read them immediately before this week's parties and dinners, but all the times I did read them definitely helped keep my eating under control this week, so I'm feeling pretty good about this goal.
I'm feeling marvelous about my second goal: exercise at least 8 times. Not only did I meet this goal, I exceeded it! I worried I wouldn't be able to fit in any exercise over the weekend, but I managed a session on the rowing machine on Saturday and then a long walk on Sunday! Simply amazing; I'm so proud of myself.
So I'm going into tomorrow's weigh-in with a good feeling. Or maybe that's the chocolate-cake-induced endorphins, but whatever, I'm liking it.
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