DAY 30: Dinner Date

The 30th step is learning to stay in control when eating in restaurants, at parties, and at other special events.

The biggest task today is practicing eating at a restaurant with a plan based on these steps:

• Choose a suitable day and place.


• Go with a friend.


• Plan in advance how much you're going to eat.


• Plan what you're going to eat.


• Anticipate any sabotaging thoughts you may have.


• Plan how you'll tolerate cravings.


• When your food arrives, portion off the food you can eat.


• Assess your success.


• Work on any sabotaging thoughts.

This is sounding pretty familiar... So I jumped the gun and completed this task early! I eat out a lot, at least once a week usually, so it was important to know I could handle it responsibly. And I did find that planning ahead, while not foolproof, certainly helped keep me on track.

Dr. Beck also offers this advice on dining out:

• Tell the waiter/waitress how you'd like your food prepared.
  No problem; I like my food the way I like it, so I've always been a fussy orderer. OK, maybe not that fussy, but I'm not afraid to ask for what I want.
  
  
• Order smaller portions.
  I understand the diet wisdom behind this advice, but financially it sounds like a bad idea. If the appetizer portion is $7 and you get twice as much in the entree portion for $10, I'd order the entree and plan to save half for tomorrow's dinner. So far I've been strong enough that this an option, but if I'm feeling weak (or especially hungry) a smaller portion would be a safer way to go, it's true.
  


• If you're eating at a buffet or family-style restaurant, look at all food options before filling your plate.
  I'm convinced that buffets are the work of the devil. I have never been able to leave a buffet without the top button of my pants undone. Seriously, they don't call them "stuff-ets" for nothing. So I'm not sure I could limit myself to a single plate, and I'm a little scared to test myself. However, I'm headed to Las Vegas (home of the world's largest buffet as well as 60 other buffets), so I'd better get ready...
  


• Practice what you know.
  The Beck Diet Solution is my way of life now, and (I hope) I wouldn't give it up just because I was in a restaurant. But Dr. Beck is right, I have to make a more concerted effort to eat slowly and mindfully when I have the distractions of dinner companions and a noisy environment.
  


• When you're finished eating, make it final.
  Dr. Beck suggests putting your utensil handles in the leftover food, covering your plate with a napkin, and pushing your plate away. In other words, make a big show that you're finished eating. I prefer Miss Manners' rules on this, but I understand the point of making it final. I tend to fold my hands in my lap and, at the first possible moment, ask to have my plate cleared or the food boxed up.

Most helpful to me today is Dr. Beck's advice on changing my mindset about parties, celebrations, and special events. She makes the point that if I want to be thin, I have to have a different attitude toward celebrating. And she's right; my attitude has always been that I must eat and drink to be merry, but eating and drinking too much are what make me fat. If I am going to celebrate and be thin at the same time, I'll have to accept that I can be merry without damaging my diet. Oh, well.

Tonight, I'll be putting this new attitude to the test -- I'm having dinner with friends to help celebrate a birthday. And in a couple of days, I'll be testing again with another birthday dinner. I can't help but worry that birthday cake will be the downfall of my diet success... What's the point in celebrating the aging process if you can't soften the blow with moist cake smothered in buttercream frosting? Hopefully I'll figure out the point by tonight!