DAY 19: To-do List

Mixed progress today:

--- I read my Advantages Response Card and NO CHOICE card at least twice.

I read other Response Cards as needed.

I ate slowly, sitting down and noticing every bite: Most Times

I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful dieting behaviors: Every Time

I did spontaneous exercise: Some Times

--- I did planned exercise.

I monitored everything I ate in writing.

I wrote out a food plan for tomorrow.

I ate only to normal fullness.

I created an It's Not Okay Response Card.


CREDIT ACCOUNT: $12.50

I was feeling very lazy and unmotivated today, spending most of it watching TV and surfing the Internet. I got around to reading my ARC and NO CHOICE Card only once, and I opted not to get any exercise. I did remember to give myself credit every time I deserved it, but that was because I didn't do much to deserve credit.

I didn't go off my food plan, which used to be unheard of on days like this, so that's something positive about today. I even skipped lunch and a snack instead of overeating!


But I did have problems with sticking to the plan. To start, friends called and invited me to dinner on the spur of the moment. There was no way I could say yes and still stick to my plan; there aren't many restaurants that serve spaghetti squash! Plus, they wanted to go to a posh place for drinking and fine dining. Now it's true I wouldn't want to suck down a fishbowl of booze while eating more calories in one sitting than I've had all week anyway, but it chafed that I had NO CHOICE and had to say, "No thanks."

Then the experience got me thinking, how am I going to make a food plan for going out to dinner? Often I don't know the day before (when I'm writing my food plan) which restaurant we'll go to or what the host will be serving at a dinner party. So how can I write a food plan I can stick to? I guess I could come up with something general: so much protein, so much vegetables, so much carbs, alcohol or no. This idea does make me nervous though because it's open to interpretation, and I haven't handled freedom responsibly in the past. But I'm determined not to let this diet impinge on my social life more than necessary!

Another problem with giving up spontaneity occured when I realized I had ripe strawberries that needed to be eaten soon. I didn't notice that yesterday when I was making out my food plan, so I planned on grapes instead. When I noticed today, I wanted to switch from grapes to strawberries, but I'm worried about the slippery slope of making changes to the plan. One day it's grapes for strawberries, the next it's a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich for a banana split with the works!

The bottom line is, having a food plan gives my diet a structure I know I need, but I'm still resentful of the restrictions it places on me. I hope Dr. Beck will address this feeling under the Unfairness Syndrome on Day 23.