DAY 23: No Fair Parking

The 23rd step is learning to not let a sense of unfairness derail your diet.

This sign makes sense when you know it marks the lot across the street from a county fairgrounds, but every time I see it, I think of a little kid stamping his foot over the injustice of parking!

Feeling it was unfair that I had to eat less and exercise more to lose weight has always been a problem for me. Why can't I eat whatever I want while lounging around but look like a supermodel anyway? Even though the answer is obvious, I've gone off a lot of diets by convincing myself, "It's just not fair!", then giving in to cravings and parking myself on the couch.

Apparently I've matured though, because unfairness hasn't been such a struggle this time. A few days ago I did feel resentful because I couldn't accept a spontaneous dinner date and still follow my food plan, but I did understand why and accepted that losing weight was going to call for some sacrifice. I wished then that Dr. Beck would address how to ensure I was understanding and accepting in future situations, and she came through today.

Dr. Beck's advice is simple: "You can dwell on this negative notion and feel bad, or you can say, That's true... It's not fair... Oh, well."

To bolster this change in thinking she recommends 3 tasks:

• Remind yourself why you decided to diet in the first place.
  
  I started the Beck Diet Solution because I am tired of losing a little weight, gaining it back, gaining a little more, losing a little weight, gaining it back, gaining a little more, ad infinitum. I want to lose this weight once and for all! If that means I can't have dinner with friends every single time I want to, that's what I have to accept. It may be unfair to my social life now, but once I lose the weight, my social life should pick up in a wh0le new way!
  


• Make a mental list of the advantages of your life.
  
  I have a lot of advantages over many of the people in this world, not the least of which is easy and ample access to food. How unfair it is that I can't eat a 2,000-calorie meal when some people are lucky to get 2,000 calories in a week? That thought does help me put fairness into perspective.
  
• Create a reponse card.
  
  These cards help me cement my thinking by reading them twice a day. I'm pretty sure they're a big part of why I'm staying on track so easily this time, so I definitely created an Unfairness Response Card:
  
  Dieting may not be fair, but I have 2 choices: I can feel sorry for myself, stop following my plan, never reach my goal, and continue to be unhappy with myself. Or I can acknowledge that I'm right, it is unfair, but go ahead and do what I know I need to do. Which unfairness would I rather have: not being able to eat something or not losing weight? Say, "Oh, well", and get on with it.

And here I am, getting on with it.