DAY 25: To-do List

The good news/bad news on today's progress:

--- I read my Advantages Response Card, NO CHOICE card, and It's Not Okay and Get Back on Track Response Cards at least twice.

--- I read other Response Cards as needed.

I ate slowly, sitting down and noticing every bite: Some Times

I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful dieting behaviors: Most Times

I did spontaneous exercise: Every Time

I did planned exercise.

I monitored everything I ate in writing.

I wrote out a food plan for tomorrow.

I worked toward accepting what I have to do to lose weight (Oh, well).

TBD I identified and wrote down one or more sabotaging thoughts.


CREDIT ACCOUNT: $21.75

Today started off on the wrong foot and I never seemed to get back onto the right one. Making my morning reading of my ARC a priority is still a struggle, and I just didn't find the time this morning. I had so many other things to do, at the time, reading my ARC seemed the least important. I know that's not true, and I feel even worse because I missed my evening reading too. My life's to-do list seemed to keep growing with every task I completed today, so by the end of the night I was exhausted. I did try to read my ARC, but the words were swimming in front of my eyes, so I gave it up as a lost cause.

I was also so busy that I didn't eat much either; I skipped lunch so I went into my dangerous dinner having had nothing but a SlimFast shake all day. That was foolish on my part, but I was very lucky! I wasn't really ravenous, just mildly interested in food, so I practiced great restraint with the chips and salsa. Then I opted to skip the cocktail since I had too much work still to do later. And when my giant salad arrived, I immediately pushed half to the side and had no trouble with eating only the other half.

My success with my dinner plan was incredible, but dinner wasn't all good news. I was hungry enough and distracted by conversation enough that I did not eat mindfully at all. I'm disappointed that I so utterly abandoned such an important feature of the program, but again, I was lucky; I noticed when I'd finished the first half and was mindful enough to check in with my stomach. Sure enough, I was satisfied, so I stopped eating!

Tonight's dinner was the biggest failure I've had in mindful eating so far, but I have noticed I've been slipping on it for a while now. I've gotten back into the habit of eating in front of the TV or computer, and even though I'm still making an effort to eat mindfully, it's obviously much harder. It's unbearably boring for me to eat with no more mental stimulation than "chewing my cud", but it's more important that I continue to notice what I'm putting in my mouth and getting the most out of it too. So I resolve to eat more meals and snacks away from the TV and computer.

Another problem with today was that I was also too busy to remember to apply a tattoo. Fortunately I still did better at remembering to give myself credit (because the recent lack was on my mind I guess), but unfortunately I didn't do much to deserve credit today.

And what kept me so busy? The friend with the restaurant has her grand opening tomorrow, so she was feverishly preparing, and I got sucked in. I know she appreciated the help (I don't think she could have made it without it), but I regret putting her needs above my own. Besides the damage to my Beck Diet Solution to-do list, I missed getting to some important tasks on my life's to-do list. So tomorrow promises to be a day of hectic catch-up.

The silver lining about my misguided Samaritanism: I was the model of self-restraint. My job was making gelato, so I was chopping up ingredients, mixing up milk and sugar, and creating the end product. And not once during the entire process did I sneak a tidbit or sample "for quality control purposes" -- I wasn't even tempted! In fact, when my friend was checking my progress, she tried to push me to sample my wares, but I turned my face away as if she were offering me a sip of Drano. And I love gelato! But I love being thinner more, so that was a happy ending to a crummy day.