Dr. Beck predicts that pursuing your goals now, while you're still losing weight, will actually help you lose the weight. She illustrates her point through the character Maggie.
When asked about pursuing her goals, Maggie says, "I can't do those things now. It's because I want to be able to do these things that I'm dieting in the first place." Personally, I agree with Maggie, but Dr. Beck promises that pursuing those goals -- developing new interests, engaging in pleasurable activities, and feeling more effective -- will lift your mood, give you a focus other than food, and provide more mental energy for dieting.
I still don't agree exactly. I can see that putting your life on hold is undesirable, yes. In Dr. Beck's example, Maggie has goals that include taking a vacation, buying a new wardrobe, dating, and finding a new job. Going on vacation or finding a job? Sure, why wait? But buying a new wardrobe while in transition would be wasteful and dating can be more challenging when you're still heavy, so I do see those as after-I-lose-the-weight goals.
My point is, I live a full life already, and my weight doesn't stop me from doing much. My after-I-lose-the-weight goals are to enjoy even more the things I already enjoy doing and to take advantage of the things that will become available to me, such as the wider fashion selections and the increased dating opportunities for thinner people.
So I'm not really clear how someone with goals like mine can complete Dr. Beck's exercises for enriching your life now:
- Make a list of goals you'd like to accomplish before or after you lose weight.
- Determine which of those goals you could start working on now.
- Choose one of those goals and write down the steps you'll need to accomplish it.
- Mark your calendar for when you'll do at least the first step.
- Ask friends or family for help on how to achieve the goal.
- Watch out for sabotaging thoughts:
- consider the advantages vs. the disadvantages of making this change in your life
- use the Seven Question Technique to evaluate your sabotaging thoughts
- consult your diet coach for support
And as for dating, I can't imagine what steps I could take to change the American cultural perception that thin=beautiful and fat=ugly. I do have an active social life and meet new people all the time, but unless Mr. Right has a fat fetish (which I find a little creepy and which would be defeated by my efforts anyway), I don't know how I can convince this mythical man to look past the fat for now.
Clearly, I'm finding this step discouraging, but I have to remember that the Beck Diet Solution has to be all things for all people, so not every step will apply to me. In this case, I think I have to acknowledge that I have plenty of joie de vivre already and look forward to the day I'll have even more!
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