DAY 12: To-do List

My progress today was a matter of good news/bad news:

I read my Advantages Response Card at least twice.

I read other Response Cards as needed.

I ate slowly, sitting down and noticing every bite: Some of the Time

I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful dieting behaviors: Every Time

--- I did spontaneous exercise: Not at All.

--- I did planned exercise.

I skipped lunch to tolerate feeling hungry.


CREDIT ACCOUNT: $5.00

Ah, the best laid plans... Today's plan turned out to be an utter disaster, and yet I felt it was a positive day. Huh?

Everything started out fine: I had breakfast and got to work on finishing some projects and cleaning the house for my party tonight. I was working so hard, I hardly noticed when I skipped lunch. But I was also working so hard, I forgot to fill out My Discomfort Scale and My Hunger Discomfort Chart. And that's when everything started falling apart...

Despite working so hard, I wasn't getting things done as quickly as I needed to, so I had to revise my schedule on the fly. I decided I would skip my hour-long walk and replace it with 30 minutes on my rowing machine. But I was halfway into my leotard when I realized I couldn't even spare that long from my cleaning efforts. It felt terrible to have to give up such an important part of my diet, but at the same time it was an amazing feeling to regret missing exercise again! And I remembered to give myself credit for the effort, so that's some more silver lining.

But then my plan took an even worse hit: by the time my good dinner was ready to eat, I discovered I had only 20 minutes to finish cleaning my house, clean up myself, and eat that meal slowly and mindfully.

It's true that my diet and eating properly are high priorities, but on this night, having a house and an appearance suitable for public consumption trumped my diet. So the house got a final lick and a promise, I danced through the shower barely long enough to get wet, and somehow everything managed to be ready when my first guest arrived on the dot of 7. But I was starving...

Despite Dr. Beck's assertion that the world should bend to my needs, I wasn't ready to abandon good manners. Instead of holing up in my bedroom to slowly and mindfully eat my dinner, I wrapped it up and put it in the fridge. And then I faced the snacks buffet having eaten nothing all day but a Slim-Fast shake.

I did make an effort to stick with the healthier options on the buffet: Reduced Fat Wheat Thins, bruschetta, gelato. I completely avoided the chocolates, apple pie, and potato chips. And I wore a rubber band around my wrist to remind myself not to overeat, and that really helped. But when I ran out of healthful options and was still hungry (really, truly hungry), I gave myself permission to sample two of my particular favorites: the carrot raisin cake with cream cheese frosting and the strawberry cheesecake pie.

Also, I started out sitting down to eat and making an effort to be mindful. But that became harder and harder while socializing at the party, and then I found myself popping a morsel in my mouth while I was standing up! I couldn't have been more shocked than if I looked down and realized I forgot to put on pants!

So one way of looking at the day is that I failed a lot: I didn't exercise at all, I skipped 2 meals, I ate things that weren't on my diet, and I didn't eat everything mindfully. Not long ago, this is exactly how I would look at it, and I would feel totally demoralized right now.

Amazingly, I'm looking at the day another way. I faced huge obstacles: time shortages, limited options, and a lot of distractions. But I fought to overcome them and made incredible strides: I did try to work exercise into my schedule (two different ways!), I made an effort to eat the right things, and when I realized I wasn't eating mindfully enough, I redoubled those efforts and did better.

So the upshot is, even though my execution was lacking, my intentions were very good. And that is a major breakthrough for me, so, yeah, it was a great day!